SWIMFAN     - A  Narada   Film Review

  played by
   Some poolside tension    
Swimfan - -  2002   - John Polson -Director   &   John Penotti-Producer

   Viewed on 08 Apr 03    Ladies and Gentlemen, we proudly present the Genesis of SWIMFAN !   For the record, there is no such word as 'swimfan', at least in the English language, but we present its Genesis anyway.  In the beginning, there was Play Misty For Me, then that begat Fatal Attraction.  But there was still something missing from the genre, some angle that Hollywood hadn't yet tried to milk, some way the stone hadn't been wrung for its last drop of blood.  But, Hollywood, in the year 2002 was in the throes of terminal ennui and was unable to come up with anything at all.   And then a miracle happened; Producer John Penotti had a vision!   No one had yet tried a teenage version.  Yessss, that's the ticket!   I mean, it worked with werewolf movies didn't it?    It worked with movies where people are trapped in a haunted house, and decide to stick together, but don't, and all get killed, didn't it?    And on the seventh day, SWIMFAN was completed, and distributed worldwide, including, unfortunately, Bangkok.
        The high school swim team superjock (Jesse Bradford) is seduced by the high school supertramp (Erika Christensen) in the high school swimming pool, even though supertramp knows superjock already has a girlfriend.  See, in terms of America's neo-Victorian mores, this tells us supertramp is the "bad" one.    Later, because superjock is kinda going steady, he gets pangs of guilt, and tells supertramp to take a hike, which endears him to our neo-Victorian audiences - he is seen by all to be "good".   But because supertramp is not in the hearts of we neo-Victorians, and because she is not particularly good at handling rejection, she naturally decides to become a multiple murderer.
        It would have been nice if we movie-goers had been treated to a surprise or two along the way, but the ending was, most regrettably, never in doubt.  This reviewer doesn't often offer money-saving tips, but I know a real easy way you all can save a hundred Thai baht...
      LEAST Enduring Line:  "I hope you don't think I do this kind of thing every day."

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