STAR  WARS     -          A  Narada Film Review

 Prime Minister of Utapau  
   Anakin Skywalker  
      is the voice of   
Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - 2005     George Lucas - Director & Producer
   2.0  out of   5.0 
   - Less than acceptable -   
   a true Cinematic
   Disappointment.   .  
       Some films write their own reviews, but with STAR WARS III one hardly knows where to start shovelling.   Director Lucas, having also written the story, knew in advance he was going to have to dazzle us with Special Effects if he wanted to offer up anything other than a half-hour Star Trek episode.   But dazzle us he did - thus, the film's 2-star rating.
         It doesn't, however, take us very long to see that the major premiss of the film is flawed.   Skywalker causes a bloody Galactic war because he fears his bad dream is going to come true.   This is truly medieval.   One would expect Napoleon Bonaparte to say, "I'm not invading Cyprus today, I had a bad dream last night", but coming from 'The-Chosen-One' Jedi, it sounds like Schwarzenegger saying, "I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight, I think the Bogey Man is under my bed."   Neo-Freudian dream-sense? - disbelief no longer suspended, Mr Lucas...
         Lucas stays in lock-step with the rest of Hollywood in casting an effete over-the-hill Englishman as the chief baddie.   This has to be the most outrageous miscasting of the year: Christopher Lee (already onboard as Darth Tyranus) being the only person in the film with any ability to project 'evil', is killed off early.   And speaking of "evil", apparently the only way Anakin Skywalker can be made to appear evil is to drape him in a shroud, give him contact lenses and make him speak in low, slow, overly-modulated Keanu Reeves tones.   But this is only one of the many stereotypes, to include the spaceships - even they are stereotyped; good spaceships sound 'cool', baddie space ships sound weird & broken, and cute space ships make 'funny' little noises....   Oh, and in case you are wondering, the bad news is that the hyper-irritating Jar-Jar Binks IS in this Episode III, the good news is he has a non-speaking part.
            In the closing moments, the audience is overtaken by dread as Yoda announces to Kenobe that an old mentor has come back from the Dark Side (read: 'SEQUEL').   All you Trekkies out there - beware The Force, this sucker is not going to lay down and die.   At film's end, Darth Vader is 'born' and unleashed.   (Say, isn't this where we came in?)
     LEAST Enduring Line or Phrase:  "Something wonderful has happened - I'm pregnant."

Copyright 2005,    Bangkok Eyes /
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