TOKYO  DRIFT ;   A  Narada Film Review

The Fast & The Furious - Tokyo Drift - 2006     Clayton Townsend - Director  and  Justin Lin - Producer
   1.5   out of   5.0
   -  Hide your face when leaving the theater...
      We saw shorts of TOKYO DRIFT in the 'coming attractions' - we were duly warned.   Nevertheless, we tempted fate and saw it anyway - and got what we deserved; heads bowed, we tried to exit the theater afterward without being noticed by anyone we knew over 14 years of age.
         What we have here is this year's tour de force in teenage immaturity - an unending, testosterone-fuelled street drag race filled with every cliche you could think of.   We got to listen to 'young adult' after 'young adult' sophomorically expound on his views of "the only thing that really matters in life..", and what hardships each had growing up - all the while driving around in $120,000 cars - at least three of which they would dispassionately crash & destroy each day.   TOKYO DRIFT redefines "embarrassing" - it was either bury your head in your hands and try to remember what Oprah was about today, or watch the film and spew chunks on the lady in front of you.
         The year 2006's prize-winning dialogue is when Sean Boswell just arrives in Japan, and asks Twinkie, "What'd'y'all mean by 'drift'?"   Like, what 11-year old boy who has only ever played video games doesn't know what drift is?   The producers were afraid someone wouldn't understand the title of the freakin' film!?.   At the end of the film, I didn't see a script writer in the credits - it may have been because my eyes were tearing over, or because there wasn't one.   We hope, for the sake of the cinematic arts, there wasn't one, and that the actors just made things up as they went along.
         TOKYO DRIFT had two saving graces - two things that saved Director Justin Lin from being deported to Niger.   First, it was able to rise above being a "buddy pic" like it's two predecessors, and secondly, it had Sonny Chiba and Vin Diesel (a brief cameo).   Although someone should tell Vin Diesel he looks terrible with red lipstick.....   Had it not been for them, I would have been back at the box office, demanding my money back.
       Enduring Line or Phrase:  "You're like the Justin Timberlake of Japan..."

Copyright 2006,    Bangkok Eyes /
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