DAWN Of The DEAD    -  A  Narada Film Review

   as Andre
   as Ana
   as  Kenneth
Dawn Of The Dead - 2004   - Zack Snyder-Director   &   Marc Abraham - Producer
    After watching DAWN OF THE DEAD, I feel I owe my readership a long-overdue explanation.   Most people don't know that every major Hollywood studio has a "Boiler Room".  This is not a 'boiler room' in the literal sense, nor is it a 'boiler room' we have come to associate with scams on the stock market.   This is a contraction of the term, "Potboiler Room".   These rooms were created specifically for Monday mornings, where screenwriters come in after a 3-day weekend in Puerto Vallarta and are massively hung over and in a state of sleep deprivation from white, powdery substance abuse.   The latte's with double-espresso shots they had rush-delivered from Starbucks don't even make a dent.   DAWN OF THE DEAD has "Monday morning Boiler Room" written all over it.
         I'll attempt to be 'Socratic' about this - let me ask you a simple question: does the following scenario sound like a prize-winning Blockbuster formula to you?   First we start with the original, and only plot from which all zombie movies have been made for the last 70 years (Laurel & Hardy's Babes In Toyland -- remember the Bogeymen?)   This time around the 'trades' erroneously credit John Romero with the 'original' because of his film of this same name (DAWN OF THE DEAD) several years ago.   We then see an unending string of movies copy-catting Romero - which have emanated from every Hollywood production house in existence - to include the very recent 28 Days Later.   Then, at about 11:00 a.m. on one particular Monday morning our team of blottoed-out journeyman screenwriters turn to one another and say in unison, "Hey, why don't we remake the 'original' !?"   Like I said, 'Boiler Room'.
         The more pretentious wags in these same 'trade' mags would have us believe DAWN OF THE DEAD is somehow greater than the sum of it's parts, and is metaphorical of our modern times; that it is deep, tongue-in-cheek black humor and allegorical on several levels...   Horse manure.   This film is fright-schtick and body-count and video game splatter-gore - end of story.   Well acted in spite of itself, if you do decide to see it, don't miss the final credits.
      Enduring Line or Phrase:  "...Get that damn camera outta my face."

Copyright 2004,    Bangkok Eyes / bangkokeyes.com
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