Avengers - End Game
-  A Narada Film Review

Marvel Studios - Disney (2019)       The Russo Broz - Directors

      Avengers Endgame is, or hopefully, 'was', the Avengers' end game.   Having sorely jumped the shark, it did naught except to prove, if more proof were needed, that 'box office' is no guarantee of quality of entertainment, and that Special Effects-CGI will never again be able to carry a film while all else is failing.   In a word, this is, after 20 years, Marvel Entertainment's anticlimax.

Marvel 'We-Pay-Our-Dues' Entertainment's obligatory gay scene and the several gratuitous female-empowerment scenes were more than enough to ensure this film will never be remembered after leaving the theaters.

Along the way, we are supposed to believe Stark and the new 'hybrid' Hulk invent time travel in their spare time, just like Star Wars and Star Trek now..., so that they can get past a sticking-point in the plot.   Well done, you dimwit drone producers and directors - you have added ZERO to the genre of science fiction...

Every superhero that ever appeared in any Marvel Universe comic or film got their 15 seconds of fame.   There was something in there for everyone, and not enough of anything in there for anyone.   The 'final reckoning' is a mishmash of every superpower in Marvel's arsenal, each superhero exhibiting his and her specialty superpower in a grand, Deos Ex Machina battle-royale which was so poorly edited that no one in the audience could follow exactly what was transpiring, or which superpower was in any real way effective in overcoming Thanos and his demons. (Note: Thanos required offing twice during the film to make sure we really understood).   All of this takes 2 and a half hours of our time - the film had everything in it except the kitchen sink, and I may have even seen the kitchen sink in a couple of the scenes...   Obviously, more is not better - I saw more than a couple movie-goers snoozing off in the climactic, chaotic, cacophonic, and regrettably predictable final battle scene - yes, really...   Come on guys, was there ever any doubt on the outcome of the battle?

(Here I should call 'spoiler', but that which is spoiled cannot again be spoiled.)   In the process of offing Thanos and resurrecting the dead half of the entire Universe (--surprise, no one saw that coming for a full year now, right...?) some of our superheros die and disappear.   Thor (who was not played by Mike Myers resurrecting his Fat Bastard role) retires, quits the team, resigns, while Black Widow dies, as does Tony Stark.   The contrived attempt at a tear-jerker Tony Stark death scene and funeral (after the red-herring Tony Stark death scene at the beginning), like so much else in the film, fell flat - to the point of embarrassment.   The dreadful interjection of a tearful Spiderkid hovering over the dying, dead Stark added nothing other than the confirmation that there was a 'strange bedfellow' relationship between the two.   We asked ourselves, at that point in the film, what difference did it make whether Stark pulled through or died?   If Marvel can snap their fingers and bring back to life half the Universe, how hard would it be to give Tony a new heart?   In contrast, only a cursory, and most unoriginal nod to Black Widow's death was given up by her 'team' - O.K., you're gone now, nice knowing ya', kid - no send-off, no funeral...

And while we are on Spideyboy, considering the grand cast of cameos by real stars such as Vin Diesel (voice), Benicio Del Toro, Robert Redford, et al, would it have been too much to ask a film costing over $300 million++ to bring back the real Spiderman, Toby McGuire?   The only 'spidey-sense' I experienced during the film was that 'something just didn't quite fit'...   The current Spideykid, Tom Holland, is so entirely miscast and unconvincing, even the cartoon film version of Spiderman would have been a better bet.

There was no "After-Credit Sequel-Peek", thus giving rise to the hope (hope beyond hope) the public won't be suckered yet again into another episode of what was once an entertaining series.   Stan Lee, peek-a-boo, but you were needed much more behind the scenes.

      11/2   Stars out of 5

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