MIDNITE HOUR - November 2004

         After trumpeting the impending "arrival" of Sukhumvit 1 Plaza in no less than two previous issues, MIDNITE HOUR would be remiss if we did not lead with the actual event.   While the official opening day of "Soi 1 Plaza" remains today, 01 November 2004, no less than five bars have already rolled out their red carpets and unlocked their liquor cabinets with a vengeance.   We might add that these were not "soft openings", all five Poolbars are fully operational -serving cold Singh to their pool-playing and lounging customers..

         The leader of the pack, the first out of the starting blocks was the Sports Bar 2, opening on 14 October - which would likely qualify it as the "seminal bar" for the Plaza at some future date.   The other four bars opened in quick succession in the week that followed.   ...And they would be, by name, the Oasis, the Go Diva (Godiva), and The One Bar, and the Chemo 01.   (See photos immediately below.)

         Both the Chemo 01 and The Sports Bar 02 have parent bars still in operation in 13 Night Plaza - on Sukhumvit Road near Soi 13.   The Chemo 01 is actually the fifth "Chemo" bar: - the first two (Chemo Bar and Chemo 02 Bar) were in the ill-fated Sukhumvit Square, while Chemo 03 was deeper inside Soi 10.   The Chemo 04 being currently located in the above mentioned 13 Night Market.   Curiously, the impetus to move out of the 13 Night Market and into Soi 1 Plaza was the impending closure of 13 Night Market (December this year.)   However, MIDNITE HOUR now understands that this closing date is no longer firm, and they could be staying open for most of 2005 - which is not worrisome to either of the new Soi 1 Plaza relocatees, in that it looks as though their bars in both locations will be able to keep their respective heads above water.

         Last month we mentioned that there was a large area in front of Soi 1 Plaza which was going to waste (it is now being used for parking).   In speaking with the owner-mamasan of the Go Diva, she mentioned in passing that the area might be used for two additional outdoor bar beers, and that she was interested in grabbing the area just in front of her bar for one of those.   While little more than a rumor at this stage, it would certainly be a better utilization of space, now that construction is nearly complete and there is no urgent need for contractor vehicles to park on site.

          With only five bars now open, and the sixth bar (and last downstairs) soon to open, it remains to be seen if Soi 1 Plaza will reach that self-sustaining "critical mass" needed to become a stand-alone Night Entertainment Area.   All will depend on how successful the future Night Entertainment Venues on the second and third floors will be.   If history is a teacher, second floor bar areas have not always been that successful - as was demonstrated several times in the now-defunct Clinton Plaza.   While a couple of the bars already seem to have custom, their owner-mamasans have confided that they are now hoping the completion of Nana Square complex (at the top of Soi 3) late next year will be giving them a much-needed boost in passer-by foot traffic - and into a respectable state of profitability.

         I have been requested (unanimously) to give a plug in this column to Soi 1 Plaza's 01 November opening day celebrations.   This I will gladly do, however, as we go to press only today, my message will be reaching most of you a little late.   Nevertheless, we at MIDNITE HOUR wish everyone a pleasant time ( free food and drinks provided by the building owner ).   For those of you who are unfamiliar with the area, they are located on Sukhumvit Road at the entrance to Soi 1.

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Baby Bartendee

         Nong Foey uses both hands to lift the lid of a giant blue ice chest.   She pulls out a large plastic Sprite bottle and, refusing help, uses all her remaining strength to twist off the sticking bottle cap.   She refills her glass without adding more ice, then twists the cap back on with the same ferocious energy she used to get it off.   She lifts the big green bottle over the edge of the ice chest and drops it gently back in.   Closing the lid of the ice chest, she double-times it over to the other side of the bar where her Mom and friends are drinking and talking of their respective fates, now that the dream of Easy Square has revealed itself as just one more nightmare of failure.

         Unbidden, Nong Foey reaches up and takes her Mom's friend's empty glass off the Formica bar top and places it on a small table within the bar area.   She uncaps the Mehkong, this time with relative ease, and pours a shot-glass brim full.   -And without spilling a drop, she pours the whiskey into the empty glass.   She tongs in two ice cubes and tops up the glass with an open bottle of soda water.   After stirring with the smiley-face swizzle stick, she returns the drink to the bar.

         But she doesn't wait for thanks, she's off to the other end of the bar to retrieve her Sprite.   Her Mom notices my entranced state and turns on her barstool to relate to me a tale as old as Thailand - she was abandoned by her Thai husband before Nong Foey was born.   And, she adds, since she couldn't afford babysitters, and she couldn't leave Nong Foey with relatives she couldn't trust, she has been raising Nong Foey right along side her, in one bar beer or another.

         She tells me that Nong Foey often tells her how handsome farang men are, and that someday she will have a farang boyfriend.   But, I venture, surely these ideas came from Mom, did they not?   No! cry Mom and her two friends, almost in unison - we would never teach Nong Foey these things!   Not even we know where she picks up such things.   Nong Foey has climbed up on a barstool next to Mom, so I smile and say, "Hi," but she doesn't say a word - in fact she hasn't said a word since I arrived. She's six years old, going on seven, and she's quite shy.

October 2004  � EASY SQUARE �

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Halloween !
- A GLOBALIZED HOLIDAY          Halloween is one of four "Western" holidays that was just too sanuk for Thais to ignore (Valentine's, Christmas and 'Western' New Year's Eve are the others).   But it is the most remarkable of these 'globalized' holidays, in that it celebrates ghosts.   -And, in normal circumstances, talk of ghosts is very much shunned - much too serious a subject to be discussed frivolously.

         Probably the reason Halloween is able to sidestep local reluctance to 'celebrate' ghosts, ghouls and whatnot, is that the ghosts are not anything like 'real' Thai ghosts - they remain more like Hollywood-style ghosts, which as often as not are featured in comedies as well as 'horror' genre films.

         But no segment of Thai society has embraced the celebration of Halloween as has the Night Entertainment Establishment.   This year the idea of sanuk, dressing up as monsters, witches and assorted ghouls and parading and playing around was extended -at least in the Bangkok Night Entertainment Areas to both 30 and 31 October.

         Visitors to Bangkok's Night Entertainment Venues are treated to black capes, black balloons, black lipstick and even black bikinis on the A-Go-Go dancers.   And while the Thais go for the traditional costumes, they tend to opt for makeup rather than masks - even the male Thai staff, who were usually dressed as Count Dracula, were heavily into the black lipstick.   This preference for makeup over masks is probably out of practical considerations while working, and of course, expense (although there were a few interesting rubber masks to be seen these last two nights).

         There is the commercial aspect, of course, which hasn't been overlooked by bar owners.   They are well aware that Halloween is a money-spinner, and none of the staff was allowed a day off, scheduled or otherwise, on Halloween.   -And in a few bars, absentee staff were docked up to a cool 1000 baht if they did a runner on this (very much unofficial) holiday.

         Since the advent, or should we say the abuse of the Internet, we have noticed that taking pictures in the Night Entertainment Areas has been getting progressively more difficult.   But when they were assured we weren't trying to sneak pictures inside the bar, and when they heard they would be getting a copy of their pictures, they became more trusting.   All photos taken here are with permission.

         But the Halloween celebrations are not limited to the Night Entertainment Areas, by any means.   We saw - for the first time in memory - a group of Thai children out on Sukhumvit Road, and they had been Trick-Or-Treating.   None of the children was above 10 years of age; the smallest got to carry the plastic bucket with the goodies.   They were more than eager to have their photograph taken - and it appears just below (left).

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Boat Jobs - SEX ON THE WATER
The Bangkok Post's 13 October issue featured a story of an aging prostitute who also worked for Empower. The article managed to give a fairly comprehensive personal history of the woman, which was entirely unremarkable - except for the fact that at age 38, she is still plying her trade onboard the foreign cargo ships at anchor off Sri Racha, near Koh Sri Chang. And, in inimitable Bangkok Post style, they dwelled on this aspect of Sri Racha's not-so-secret Night Scene.

On any given day, a large number of commercial vessels can be seen at anchor in the strait between Sri Racha and Sri Chang Island.

Last month, MIDNITE HOUR made known our suspicions that the Bangkok Post was embarking on a 'One Tambon, One Sleazy Story' (OTOSS) program when they carried their 'Groping Malaysians' border story on the front page. This month, the Post confirmed those suspicions. But besides telling us much more than we really wanted to know about purchased sex aboard foreign vessels, it would have been nice if the Post reporters had got their facts straight - and complete. Any one who has holidayed in the hillside bungalows of Koh Sri Chang could have provided a more comprehensive - and accurate story.
Having sex on boats in Thailand goes back in living memory (oral histories) to the 1960's, and in written record at least to the middle of the 17th Century. -And there are a few of you out there that can still remember your first 'boat job' late of an evening in a small, covered dinghy on a steamy Bangkok klong as late as the 1970's - so the Post story is far from a 'revelation', if in fact that was their intent.

One of the several motor launches that ply the strait between Sri Racha and Sri Chang Island stops at one of the commercial vessels to drop off a visitor.

        Post reporters would have us believe that the boats are mostly from Greece and Turkey (not so) and that they stay for a month at a time (doing what?)   The ships that visit there are engaged in only two activities - taking on natural resources and ore from Koh Sri Chang, and black-marketing (as can be seen from the contents of the motorized launches continually ferrying goods and people to and from the ships).   Neither of these activities takes a month - and commercial vessels are not going to linger at a 'nowhere' port like Sri Racha for an extra few weeks to get their crews well-bedded.
        The Post's further implication that the girls live -eat and sleep- aboard the vessels for the entire month is, of course just as wrong.   The girls that do visit the ships usually go ashore daily - if for nothing more than to get fresh Thai food for cooking aboard, but also take care of a variety of personal or extracurricular activities as well.
        The Post story does give adequate recognition to the good work Empower is doing in aid of sex workers here in Thailand, and it does -at least indirectly- point up the inherent contradiction in prostitutes wanting both anonymity (freedom from the stigma of their profession) - and wanting to draw upon the Government's labor and social benefits.    (Curiously, Empower never quite gets around to explaining their position on prostitute income tax - but we can leave that for another day... )
        Nevertheless, like Roger Rabbit, who hears, 'Shave and a haircut...', and just has to jump out and cry, 'Six-bits!' - the Bangkok Post just cannot resist the opportunity to do sleaze, even if in the guise of 'we-care social justice'.      How tawdry.   If this is what the Bangkok Post has come to, they certainly couldn't have had any real objections to their now-defunct Nite Owl column.   Bernard Trink < link >, by way of contrast, always maintained a certain honesty...
       We can hardly wait to see what juicy morsel the Post will be serving up in the coming weeks as a follow-on.

Email me at bangkokeyes@bigfoot.com - - Click Here

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"Rumor Of The Month"

Where there's

"Rumor" is defined as "no-fault confabulation, chain-reaction speculation...." Nevertheless M IDNITE HOUR again presents the most outrageous / prevalent rumor to cross our desks this past month:

"After last month's visit to Rachadapisek, the Benevolent Autocracy will be closing down Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy within the next 3 months."

MIDNITE HOUR includes as part of our Rumor Of The Month an ongoing evaluation as to the accuracy of said rumors since the inception of the award.

As of 01 November 2004, the Rumor Accuracy Quotient remains at - 0%
See our Archived Rumors at their worst : click HERE.

Sick Humor Department

MIDNITE HOUR Photo Caption Contest
VOTE for your favorite, or WRITE YOUR OWN !

Photo excerpt attribution : - AFP

Which of the above Captions would you choose?    Or what would your 'winning' Caption be?

You decide...
*Click* here and send in your vote...or your own caption.

"Winner" will be announced next month.   Also, please don't hesitate to send in your comments, recommendations, and suggestions, should you be so inclined.

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November's

Follies
begin here
MIDNITE HOUR presents the NEWS on the Bangkok Night Scene; - the 'history-in-the-making' for all major Night Entertainment Areas - for the month ending 1 NOVEMBER, 2004 :

� PATPONG I � .
MAP

Renovations now completed, what was the King's Lounge Disco is now the King's Lounge A-Go-Go (second floor, Soi Bookstore). We visited early in the evening, and were pleasantly surprised. There were three A-Go-Go stages, one of which is also used for 'cabaret shows'. There was also a separate lounge area with pool table. Drinks for ourselves and the 'lady dinks' were 80 baht each - straight across the board. And yes, as advertised, there were a few of the staff that were 'model' quality - in general a very much above-the-line lineup. 'Escort' buy-out is 500 baht.

On the downside, the music was too loud to carry on any kind of a conversation; to be heard, we had to shout into each other's ear in turns (they obviously kept the old disco sound system). Also the air conditioning was too cold -the dancers were complaining continuously- we found ourselves wondering if management doesn't do this on purpose to get the girls to push for early 'offs'... With the cashier downstairs in the King's Corner, it takes about five minutes to get change. These items are easily remedied, and management is requested to consider. Welcome back to the night follies. � PATPONG I �

� PATPONG II � .
MAP

Another case of 'gone, but not gone', this time on The Ramp. The Matador Cocktail Lounge (which only reopened last month) - has closed the door once again, nailed up a new neon shingle which reads, Matador House, and reopened the door - all virtually overnight. We can't really say the new too-bright sign is in keeping with it's more sedate ambiance, but we wish them every success in their transmogrification to a 'house'... � PATPONG II �

Electric Blue, born on 03 April 2004, is now sporting a marble plaque indicating the premises to be the birthplace of Nanapong. Which came first, the chicken or the egg...? All this notwithstanding, their Halloween Night blast was a good time waiting to happen.

� PATPONG II �

� NANA PLAZA � .
MAP

As surmised in this column last month, something was afoot in the old single-shophouse Titty Twister digs. With new neon aglare, the Pussy Cat's Bar has burst upon the scene (you won't be able to miss it at the top of the stairs).

Under new management (duh...), A-Go-Go remains the prime agendum. We welcome them as they step into the line of fire. � NANA PLAZA �

  So far, Carnival on the 3rd floor, after more than two months, still can't get their new neon mural to work like it's supposed to...   But, hey, on the bright side, they have a mechanical bull to ride if you prefer a nostalgic 1980's sort of an evening...   � NANA PLAZA �

  � SOI COWBOY � .
   MAP

The new Kanchana Bar Beer (so new it is still without neon) has opened in the old Piccolo Entertainment Beer Bar digs. With only a minimum of spruce-up time, they have made the place very presentable - and Miss Kanchana is behind the bar to greet all new and 'old' customers. Pool Bar remains the modus operandi, and at three shophouses wide, there is actually enough room for all the pool tables. Welcome to the big uphill. � SOI COWBOY �

The sign reads:

-HIRING-
1.    DANCERS - 8,500 baht (per month), 6 "Off" (buy-outs)
2.    WAITRESSES
3.    'BARKER' (best approx definition - most often
         referred to as 'door touts', or 'door girls' )

Good salary and/with a place to stay.
Apply at Shebas.

-And it is this last item (3.) that really makes the above sign a "Sign Of The Times". -In earlier times, the position of 'door girl' was handled informally, usually by dancers between 'floors' (sets), outside in front of the bar in their sateen mini-robes, encouraging, 'jeep-ing' and tugging on customers' arms to get them to "come inside please". Recently, however, more and more bars are hiring specifically for the position - usually an attractive young lass that will accompany a customer to his table (or barstool), only to disappear out front again - often to the consternation and wonder of the customer.

November 2004 � SOI COWBOY �

The @ Corner bar beer has, with the help of Jack Daniels hung out a brand-new neon shingle - one you don't need climb a ladder to read. Lookin' good. They are always modestly busy - who says a bar beer can't do well on the Soi Of Joy? � SOI COWBOY �

Cowboy's Cowgirl

The MIDNITE HOUR "prize" for Best Door Art for this month goes to Cowboy 2 on Soi Cowboy. This "door art" is about fifty feet in the skys above the bar, and can be seen the length and breadth of the Soi, which seems to us entirely appropriate - in that it most accurately captures the essence of that entire Night Entertainment Area - as well as the A-Go-Go bar it advertises.
� SOI COWBOY � November 2004

� SOI COWBOY �

Tied to the whipping-post this month is the Suzie Wong Bar - they have been selected arbitrarily by Bangkok's Finest for a 30 day shut-down. We wouldn't want these evil bars getting too uppity and start thinking they were free from tyrannical puritanism, now, would we? Why, it s almost as if the Benevolent Autocracy didn't have any real problems... The Suzie Wong has a huge banner stretched the full 2-shophouses announcing the closure and the reopening date of 18 November - you'd almost think they were proud of it... All the staff have been sent TDY to Sheba's across the way. � SOI COWBOY �

� COWBOY ANNEX � .
MAP

The divider on the far-right section of Bar Bie Bar has been extended all the way out to the interior footpath, cutting that area off from the main bar. The separate space created is being run as a separate bar beer. As yet, no name. -And when we asked the mamasan, that's what she said, "No name," so, at least to the casual passer-by they still blend in with their neighbor. Nor do we begrudge them their attempt at anonymity - if it helps them avoid harassment at the hands of the Men In Too-Tight Uniforms. � COWBOY ANNEX �

In the "It was bound to happen sooner or later department", Bitchy Bar opened on Sukhumvit Road. Contiguous, if only by a technicality (the rear fence) to Cowboy Annex, we felt it only fair to mention it here. Over the last two months, it hasn't been doing any business to speak of. Perhaps we weren't the only ones turned off by the name? Just a passing thought... Nevertheless, if a little belatedly, we welcome them to the sharkpool. � COWBOY ANNEX �

Much to MIDNITE HOUR's surprise, all the bars have, in addition to their own neon, brand-new small illuminated signs above their respective entranceways. In addition, all the interior footpaths are being elevated another four inches with a new running slab of concrete. Perhaps the rumors that they will survive another two years are true - these would be excessive investments to make if the intent were to close down at the end of the year (as previously bandied about). � COWBOY ANNEX �

� SOI DEAD ARTISTS (Soi 33) � .
MAP

Sahara Sports Bar located poolside within the Timbevati has been glassed in and air conditioned.   We don't know if that is 'good' or 'bad', as we kind of liked the idea of tables out on the lanai, within reach of the water.   They are also still looking for their sign...   That having been said, the new setup is very comfortable, indeed.
     � SOI DEAD ARTISTS  �

  � EASY SQUARE � .
MAP

Mook Bar, having rung up their last check-bin only last night, is but the next inevitability in the dissolution of what was Easy Square Night Entertainment Area only two months ago. Greener pastures, guys. -And if the scuttlebutt from sources on the ground there is accurate, Easy Square will be down to just about Zero by New Year's Eve. � EASY SQUARE �

� " SOI KATOEY " � .
MAP

The Bacardi Ghost Carnival consumed Soi Katoey on the evening of 30 October, with an elaborate Halloween extravaganza: - dry ice machines blowing fog at our feet, and gyrating ghoulish dancers in cages atop twin towers at the entranceway. Add to that thundering stadium speakers (and the generators running not-too-quietly in the background), blinding strobes, and a projection screen stretched across the Soi at second storey level to show the goings-on. Costumed 'ghosts' paraded back and forth for the TV cameras, and a scary time was had by all. Well...if not scary, at least weird. We don't pretend to understand 'advertising', but this production ran into the hundreds of thousands of baht: we fail to see how Bacardi were planning to get their money back. Nevertheless, the spectacle drew thousands into the soi over the course of the evening - sometimes the soi itself was standing room only - a zoo of gawkers and gawkees... � SOI KATOEY �

Speed are now prominently advertising, "Rooftop Now Open". With the good weather now upon us, could this be the start of the next trend?

� QUEEN'S PARK PLAZA�
MAP

Last month we noted in this column that the "No Bar" had taken the reins from the Buddy Bar bar beer. We misheard them - it was the No Bra ! bar - which is a little confusing, because there is already another No Bra ! in this Night Entertainment Area. As it works out, the owners of the original No Bra ! have sold out and moved back to the old Buddy Bar area, but the new owners have kept the original name. Something's gotta give - two separate bars with different owners having the same name is just not going to work for very long. We will be keeping an eye on this and let you know. (Historical note: the No Bra ! is Queen's Park Plaza's seminal bar - they started the whole thing off at the end of 1998 - in those days it was a ramshackle affair in the corner of a large vacant lot, and the girls used to cadge customers from curbside as they walked back to their hotels.) � QUEEN'S PARK PLAZA �

Two months ago, it was Happiness. Last month it was Paddy's Irish Bar. This month it's both - Paddy's Irish Bar - Happiness. Hey, it's not our job to explain, we only make note for the historical record... Same bar, same pool tables. Same friendly service. Keep on keeping on. � QUEEN'S PARK PLAZA �

Country Road gets around. Their latest 'branch' has just opened in the old Sugar Shak digs at the back of the Plaza. Some of you may remember Country Road from Soi Cowboy, Soi 19 and Pattaya - all still thriving concerns. They also had a branch in the ill-fated Sukhumvit Square before it fell to Mafia terror almost two years ago. They are keeping the Pool Bar theme. Welcome to the briar patch. � QUEEN'S PARK PLAZA �

Something BIG is happening out behind The Corner. It looks like it will be a large pub lounge or perhaps (as one wag had it- ) a fancy Japanese Karaoke. It looks like it will be complete in a week or so - mirrors being hung, windows glazed, interior fittings almost completed We'll get to the bottom of it and let you know. � QUEEN'S PARK PLAZA �

� WASHINGTON SQUARE � .
MAP

At the Soi 22 entrance to Washington Square, the new Sidewalk Caf� bar beer, has switched on the Christmas light sets, dragged out the chrome barstools and spread the coasters across the wet bar. I was taken by surprise, when I walked past and was warmly greeted by the owner. A matter of set and setting - I didn't immediately recognize Khun Rojana out of her element - which was, until recently the Top Secret just across the street. It seems she has sold out, and moved out of Queen's Park Plaza, and is now trying her hand in Washington Square. Another historical note: - She opened the original Top Secret in Clinton Plaza as one of the founding bars at the end of 1998, and she was one of the last to leave. She reopened in Queen's Park Plaza in September 2002 and remained there until this October. Welcome back to the nightbeat. (This new venue is no relation to either of the Sidewalk Caf� Bars on Patpong II or Khao Sarn Road.) � WASHINGTON SQUARE �

� TOBACCO ROAD � .
MAP

The bars in Tobacco Road are sprucing up a bit.   Several of the bars have repaired their blinking and failed neon, and the Night Entertainment Area has at last rid itself of the transient locals drinking Mehkong and Sing from folding tables and chairs out front.   This sudden interest in their appearance has perhaps more than a little to do with the bright, shiny competition (Sukhumvit 1 Plaza) just across the street...     � TOBACCO ROAD    (SOI ZERO) �

  � OTHER NIGHT VENUES OF NOTE �

Charming Bar with it's pleasing atmosphere, has managed to stand the test of time. Located about fifty meters past Nana Plaza on your right going in. Let the good times roll.

Almost directly across the street from the above mentioned Charming Bar is the Bus Stop Beer Garden - and likewise, it has been around long enough that it's bright bit of neon is becoming a familiar landmark on Soi 4. A relaxing atmosphere, as compared to the hard hassle and fast hustle of other bier gartens in the area, it remains a good "get-away" spot. We wish you constancy.

� The No-News-Is- Good-News Department �

� THERM� & "13 NIGHT MARKET" � .
MAP

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--- Datzit Fernow





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